the real world
by kizumichan
Summary: RTN AU- When he's everything, but he's not the real Sasuke.


**Road to Ninja**

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do ," whispered Sasuke. He nudged his head closer to her shoulder and hid his face. His warm breathe warming her neck as he closed his eyes.

" I know I've always noticed you. "

Sakura closed her eyes. An image of Sasuke appeared winking at her, a catch of his gaze softening. The moments when he would constantly try to grab her hand or put an arm around her shoulder, but she'd always send him off. When Sasuke's around other girls and then looks up at her everytime she passes by. Her thoughts suddenly blurred and brought back a darker Sasuke on a bridge. The feeling of her stomach twisting as she fought her feelings to kill the boy. That was the real Sasuke, and she had to remember that the boy on the bed wasn't him. This Sasuke smelled the same, felt the same, and held the exact sharp features. Sakura shook and felt hollow inside.

This isn't him.

This isn't him, and she knew that, Sakura had already accepted a long time ago what Sasuke is. She knew he would never be as open and compassionate as this, Nor would he be a little bit worried when she came home late from missions. There wouldn't be flowers by her window every morning. The real Sasuke was a flame that she couldn't completely grasp. She's tried so hard to reach out and keep him still, but it would only burn her and scar her hands. It would bite her back and spark.

She wanted to desperately take that flame and hold it between her palms.

Forget the pain.

Forget the burns.

Forget the scars.

If it means saving him, she can forget.

Her eyes hurt so much and began to water.

" I feel that I need to do something. " he murmured.

Another breathe escaped from his lips.

" Something for you..." he continued.

She choked back a sob.

Sakura wasn't sure how to take any of this anymore. She feels homesick and wants the real Sasuke to come back. The man in front of her was what she wanted for her Sasuke so badly, a life with no burdens. A life with friends, and a warming family that supported his future. Sakura was in a deep sea of crossed emotions. It was so hard to forget every single piece he has done to her, because it's still fresh in her mind. The binding grip on her throat suffocating her breathing was all she could feel. She could still clearly remember her nerves slowly going numb; the cold metal of the kunai in her hand burning her fingers.

Then who was this close to her body? Who was this man that quietly held her closely to him?

It wasn't Sasuke.

It shouldn't be.

* * *

The grinding of their bodies made him close his eyes and desperately let out a breathe. "S-sa...ku.." Sakura kissed the side of his jaw and breathed in his scent. Her pleasuring to Sasuke, she's so close to him and hearing him so vulnerable. Sakura eyes began to water " Should I even be doing this?" she whispered close to his ear.

_It's him but it's not him._

His head snapped out of the pleasure. He could feel her arm stiffen.

Sasuke paused before slowly lifting his hands up to her face. He cupped one cheek. He looked at her straight in the eyes and searched for that look.

" ...this ... I want.. this to be up to you Sakura. " her gaze faltered a bit.

_I don't know, Sasuke._

"Do you trust me? Do you really want to do this with me?"

Sakura's hand dropped on the sheets and gripped them tightly.

"I-I'm.. I want.."

_I don't know if I want you._

"-Because I need you, Sakura."

She bit her lips and looked to the side. She does feel something, and it's that same emotion that made her always come back to Sasuke. That longing need to touch him and watch his face. He's right here dammit! But why is it that every time she feels that she's found him, he's still so far away?

The Sasuke right here is doing the unspeakable that she's longed for her whole entire life.

_To be held._

_Whispering at night._

_Pressing against each other. _

_-making love. _

" I do want this Sakura." his voice broke out, breaking her thoughts once more.

Sakura was confused, he only wanted to do this and nothing more.

" Then-"

" But I also want you. I want you more than ever. I need you now, tomorrow, and however long it may be. I just can't leave you anymore."

His serious expression was almost breaking. " Sakura- I.. I lo-" she cut him off by pressing her lips hard against his. Being caught in the moment is all she experienced. This isn't the real Sasuke, but why is she kissing him? Why does she want to continue?

He could feel her soft lips crash against his as his weight fell back on the bed. His back colliding with the chilled sheets. They continued to kiss, their list growing hungrier and needy. He slid his hands around her waist-He needed more of her now; Sasuke gripped her waist and peeled down her shorts and panties, leaving her in her medic skirt and shirt. She let out a quick breathe from their kiss and quietly whined.

_I'm so sorry, Sasuke._

_This is what she wanted. Sasuke loved her, cherished her everyday. This Sasuke kissed her and told her sweet things. He never told her she was annoying, and he would never knock her out and leave her on a cold bench. This Sasuke stayed where he belonged. _

_This Sasuke loves her. _

**Then why-**

_I don't know who to love anymore._

* * *

sorry I don't actually write fanfiction. This is only an attempt and I don't know what to do with it after. I'm only an artist so I don't know how to write ; w ; sadly i don't know if I'm continuing this because I only wrote this for fun. Feel free to take it and do whatever, though. I don't really mind about the drabbles I write.

Thanks for reading though!

-kizumi


End file.
